Watching porn is really a rite of passage for most men. It begins with a few visuals, like that proverbial Playboy magazine several friends passes around well before they are old enough to know what it all means. Eventually a young man discovers the visual and aural stimulation of moving video, and that often begins a lifelong love of porn. Actually, the sore penis that results from much too much porn watching might turn into a man’s first foray into determining good penis care.

But when a man begins to take pleasure from pleasure with someone outside of the screen, he is frequently disappointed by the vast gulf between what porn teaches him and what really happens in the bed room. For the uninitiated, below are a few things to never actually be prepared to translate from the screen to the bedroom.

1) Perfect bodies. All the participants in a porn video are usually very young and healthy. And if they aren’t, the video producers use tricks of camera angles and lighting to cover up any flaws. The result is the belief a woman should look a certain way, and a man should too. That can definitely result in disappointment in the bedroom.

2) Instant hardness. Men in porn are very rarely observed in a flaccid state. The moment a woman walks across the screen, they’re hard enough to crush diamonds. The truth is that most porn productions work with a ‘fluffer’ – a female whose only job would be to get yourself a man hard before he walks onscreen. What appears to be ‘instant’ is really just an illusion.

3) She gets off fast. Ladies in porn seem to feel as though every touch is orgasmic, and they appear to have numerous orgasms throughout one session. The truth is very different. Women usually require a very specific type of stimulation, for much more than simply a few seconds, in order to get turned on – significantly less to get off.

4) Noise, noise, noise! A porn video is filled up with aural stimulation, which is part of why most guys love it so much. And who wouldn’t? The problem is that women aren’t really likely to make noises like that in the sack. Sure, they could be enthusiastic and make some noise, but the sounds in a porn film will not likely be replicated in the bed room.

5) Money shots. Here’s an interesting stat: porn actors ejaculate somewhere other than the vagina 81 percent of that time period. More often than not they do it on her body or mostly, her face. The problem is that 80 percent of women in real life report not liking that one move. So unless she approves beforehand, don’t expect to replicate this.

6) Crazy moves. Remember the ‘fluffer’ and the illusion she creates? A similar thing is true of a female who can do wild things in porn, like anal sex without the preparation, or double penetration. In each case, the situation has been prepped and carefully coordinated off-camera. Again, don’t be prepared to replicate things like this!

Staying ready for the real thing

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